• Toucan

    Toucan is now part of Talk Talk, please visit the Talk Talk page for more information

    44 responses to “Toucan”

    1. Andy Nugent says:

      Currently having the same problem as Andrew Worner. On my 3rd modem / started pack with another week (3-5 working days) before I’ll inevitably have to phone again to report it missing. Obviously something going wrong at their end as they seem completely unconcerned that I keep requesting a new one.

    2. Johnny Prada says:

      Ive been with toucan for a while, and i am not impressed. My previous internet provider was AOL however i switched to toucan thinking i would get a better service, yeah they where great at sending me the internet equipment and keeping me updated. But in a while i found myself not been able to use the internet because toucan was not yet available around the area? well it stayed like that for a month until i decided to call their expensive 30p a minute helpline, it took me a week and about five pounds worth of calls to get it fixed… yet the problems weren’t over, their service is extremely sluggish and their service becomes even more slow after 6pm. I look forward to changing my ISP as soon as the contract is over. Do Not Get Toucan

    3. Steve Browne says:

      Toucan! Who can’t?

      I terminated my contract with them at the end of the minimum term and they have continued to bill me for services not rendered (since 1st August) and refuse to drop it and go away.

      I have exchanged emails and they tell me I am still liable for charges up until the contract was terminated. This is despite the fact that I informed them verbally when I first requested a MAC and in writing when I requested a MAC for the second time. I think they only provided it because my next call was to be to Ofcom.

      Anyway, they have told me that if I don’t pay the September account, they will pass it on to debt collectors. I have told them to go get a summons or go away, as I shall not be paying them anything.

      So far as I know, you can’t have a one-sided contract, either we are both parties to it or none of us are. Quite how they are going to present that to a judge will become apparent in due course.

      Have fun, I just thought I’d pass on my experience, the LA Fitness of the internet world.

    4. Bill Harley says:

      The behaviour of this company is nothing short of criminal. I really don’t know how they get away with it. My stepdaughter wanted broadband installed. Her budget is very tight so the toucan unlimited 8mb for £15 and cheaper line rental looked wonderful. It was even recommended by a work colleague… it turned out he had no business recommending them as he has never tried to use their technical support (he was lucky, it actually worked) and he only uses the internet to check Emails once daily so has never come close to getting his bandwidth throttled.

      Anyway, the broadband has never worked from day one. Calls to both their Email tech support and their phone line support are utterly useless. They have no idea what they’re doing. They simply go through a list of things that any idiot would try before ever getting in contact. The phone support is worst, they do their best to keep you talking on the line for as long as possible… 30p a minute!

      In short if it doesn’t work because of a fault at their end they seem to do nothing. It now looks like my stepdaughter is simply going to cancel the direct debit. They’re providing no service so she’s not paying them. The sad thing is that will mean she’ll lose both her phone service and any chance of ever getting broadband from any other ISP. In the end all parties lose here. Just what the hell do Toucan think they’re about? They’re seriously detrimental to people’s mental health. Avoid this company like the plague! Be warned!

    5. Denise Peers says:

      This company is dreadful. I have no internet access since last Oct 2006 and they are very unhelpful when giving out a MAC code. The one they sent to me was out of date and I cannot use another provider until I get this number. I am pulling my hair out.

    6. Matt says:

      Have a friend who is on Toucan and 4 weeks ago it stopped working. Apparently a cable fell out of one of the servers and it will take up to 16 weeks to plug it back in. Still have to pay the monthly fee, no refunds, no apologies, nothing!

      Looked for a SLA (Serice Level Agreement) on their site and they don’t actually give one (well they mention 3 months to fix any problems). I remember the days of a 99.5% uptime SLA, guess those are gone now….

      Stay well clear of this company.

    7. P Landry says:

      Just switched from BT broadband to Toucan, what a big mistake!!! No connection, no modem, useless customer support, be warned do not touch this company.

    8. Jane R says:

      From day one I had no service, I am going to take them to court as they will not release the line to anyone else. Toucan will only release the line if I pay the whole years subscription. If anyone else is in the same trap then email me KINGPOMME (at) AOL.COM. Cheers.

    9. Alan Poole says:

      For ‘Andrew Worner’ 13th June Blog, who has not received his equipment and tried to cancel and they reckon he still has to pay for the full 12 months… Do not pay a penny!
      Let them threaten you. Allow them to provide you with the paper evidence of their harassment, let them send the Debt Collectors letters of threats, just as I did. Save them for evidence of harassment.
      English Law is simple: If you don’t get the service you paid for, you do not pay… regardless of what they think.
      You have sufficient protection already in Law as a consumer, your rights are clearly defined under the 1982 Sale of Goods and Services Act.
      Let them take you to Court, have it transferred to your local court, as your right, then counter sue them for your days attendance and all your expenses.
      I would be happy to start a group up to fight them. I have been begging them to take me to Court. I’ll let you know if it happens. If you doubt me go and see a Solicitor or the Citizens Advice or Trading Standards. I am using my own name too!

      Anybody else :

      Do not go with Toucan… Please !

    10. Andrew Worner says:

      Basically I foolishly agreed to an 8mb account with Toucan on the 14th of May 2007, they stated that I was officially active on the 28th May with the promise of a modem and start up package sent through approx two days later i.e. 30th May. It is now the 13th of June and I still haven’t received anything further from Toucan (no modem or starter package!).

      I have called them 4 times now and each time they tell me they have re-sent another modem out to me (I’m now on my third to be sent out!!) each time they tell me to expect to wait for 3-5 working days for it to arrive. I was finally told on my forth call to them that it is in fact an automated postal service they use to dispatch their modems and are having issues with it, then told me if after the fourth try at this so called automated dispatch I still haven’t received anything that they would send it out manually (if they know this is a big problem then surely they could bypass the automated post and just manually mail them out?).

      I tried to cancel my order just last night 12th June but they said I’ve already started my contract and would have to pay the any remaining fees to the contract, effectively 12 months worth of £14.99 (£179.88). I replied to this by stating that they haven’t upheld their side of the contract by not issuing me with any equipment to start using their service but this just fell on deaf ears.

      Is there any loop hole I could use or are they breaking their side of the contract so I can leave before it gets any worse?

    11. Alan Poole says:

      I had three start dates off Toucan, I chose the first 5th Jan 2007 and got connected. That’s a joke. I used a free dial ISP to get emails it was quicker. I went through all the interactive web help on the toucan site (like I need it!) What I didn’t do it spend 30p a minute +vat (£21.15 per hour) talking to someone in India. On 22nd Jan 2007 I emailed them with a print out of their speedchecker to show that my download speed was 87k not 8mb as advertised (BT confirmed I should be getting 4mb on my line). 24 hours later after no response I cancelled the contract on the basis they had failed to supply the goods advertised in contravention of The Sale of Goods Act & Services 1982.

      They took 2 weeks to respond and said my ‘contract date’ expired on the previous Boxing Day! What…… and as 7 days had elapsed I couldn’t cancel and they had no record of me contacting tech support for help. Why would I need tech support to tell me they were not supplying the bandwidth I was paying for.

      I returned the modem with this letter of cancellation of 23rd Jan 2007. They bill me constantly, up to date I’m on my third Debt Collection Agent.

      I’ve advised them that they should not threaten me and demanding money with menaces if an offence under The Criminal Justice Act 199 Sect 17.

      I have advised them I will not send them any more money as I have paid them for the services I used and I have advised them they should take me to Court.
      I will keep you posted on these Morons.

    12. Dr G says:

      I’ve been with Toucan for nearly one and a half years (UNFORTUNATELY!) and they still continue to give me hassle… even when they come up with ridiculous promotions like knocking a pound off now and then which sent my direct debit into a ruckus as the stupid stupid financial department had some stupid fault apparently and charged me for 2 months instead. My bank didn’t pay up but charged me 40 quid for that instead! So their 2 pound promotion cost me 40 quid!!!

      I’ve not had great speeds and what with fair usage and all which never seems to stop (its ridiculous cos even my wedding videos are more than their download limit of 1GB!!!) but I haven’t really complained much! What really bust my chops recently was the way they kept harassing me about missed payments which is absolutely ridiculous considering I’ve always been on direct debit!!! The customer service girls were ‘most apologetic’ like that’s a bunch of use but no one DID anything about it!!! In fact some were positively rude and told me not to be so dramatic! Dig that from a CSA!!!

      Every single day for 2 weeks I kept receiving threatening email and letters about bailiffs and disconnection and credit reports while customer service kept saying everything was in order! They suggested I pay the amount they asked for anyway which I eventually did too although it wasn’t my fault but the letters still didn’t stop coming! I’ve sent a letter of complaint and it is now embellishing someone’s waste pile!!! In fact I directly asked them if they’ll even look at it cos they didn’t exactly imbue me with confidence with their efficiency!!!

      I’ve asked for the MAC code, which I received with unexpected promptness today, but with a slight niggle that it now shows that my contract ends in a few months’ time even though I’ve been with Toucan for more than 15 months! I’ve written to them and have requested they please check with everyone before replying since I don’t want to be passed back and forth like a football again! Have to see what happens after everything they’ve put me through in the last month….will write an update soon maybe…

    13. Kesang Bhutia says:

      My friend uses Toucan 8mb broadband. His laptop gets extremely slow when he connects to the Internet. We tried AOL and the computer works absolutely fine. Also, it is so difficult to get connected the first time. Please don’t choose Toucan at all

    14. Geoff Reynolds says:

      I signed up with Toucan about three days ago, so did my friend. His connection is fine but I have been unable to connect at all. Each time I contact them, which is through the 30p a minute line, I get nowhere fast! I can hardly understand the Indian accent of the people at the other end. They bombard you with trivia to boot up the price and keep you on hold.

      I have told them the problem, my home connection gain strength needs increasing. I have told them that I have two computers enabled with toucan broadband software and when I take them to my friends, both connect, no problem! Therefore it is my signal strength that is lacking.
      This morning they have replied by email on my tesco.net setup asking me if i have plugged my cables in correctly.
      It’s like dealing with a bunch of morons!!

      They are efficient at sending worthless bits of postage with nice yellow headers, the service, however, must be questionable. Who knows? They might prove their worth and rectify my problem, but at what I’ve encountered already, I remain sceptical.

    15. Jamie says:

      You would think in this day and age companies like this would never prosper at least Dick Turpin wore a mask, I am now warning you to stay away from this ISP.
      The only thing good here is their ability to waffle on the phone, poor connection speeds, limited unlimited download usage!!! (no actual guidelines stay below 4g it becomes 3g stay below that it becomes 2g etc etc).
      Customer service is a joke all they will do is hide behind your contract which can change at any time (read the small print) however where they can do whatever they want all you can do is pay up.
      At time of writing I cancelled 6 months ago and they are STILL TRYING TO BILL ME, and I payed to get out of the contract…aaaarrgh. Please don’t get me started on the phone line issues thats another horror story. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

    16. Mike Shanny says:

      Please stay well clear of this shower. I moved house and as they no longer provided the 2mb service they tried to force me into an 8mb contract for another year. I’m hoping to take them to court but their terms and conditions are so tight there isn’t any wiggle room. DO NOT GO NEAR THESE PEOPLE

    17. Paulo Bridges says:

      Does anybody know the legal standings in regards to the contract? I had Toucan for one year or so before I upgraded into a new contract. The connection speed was fine and the downloads would reach approx. 100 kbps from utorrent which i thought was very reasonable for 2MB connection. I then chose to upgrade to the 8MB connection and now I have speeds that a friggin’ snail would find easy to keep up with. I have contacted the “Technical Support” line over 7 times via e-mail, the “customer service” over twenty times with their stupid speed test results & they have not fixed the line problem. Can anyone advise me whether this is a breach of the contract therefore invalidating it? By the way I was told on the phone I would be able to have these speeds so it that fraud?

    18. Carl George says:

      Don’t go with Toucan!!

      I am currently experiencing similar problems as others here with being told I am exceeding limits blah, blah, blah.

      Between 6pm and 11pm the internet is almost unusable.

    19. C Dakin says:

      Hi, Just another totaly fed up toucan idiot:
      I have been with them 12 months + and I am hopefully on my way out of it.. . For 11 months I downloaded nothing (0).. after a while i decided to get some large files off the Net..
      Wow, they hit me the first time I did it, I sent them an EMAIL to the above times and limits, but was QUOTED “Fair Usage PolicY” , Nothing Fair about Toucan, if you are on 512 which I am you are allowed ALL TOLD: 750 MB per month.
      A whole gig if you subscribe to 1 MEG.
      This company it changing its name that fast you can`t keep up with them.
      If I had known it was TISCALI in SHEEPS clothing I would not have touched them with a Barge Pole. THey have now changed yet again to PIPEX:!..
      All was fine getting me to sign up, then hell broke loose for months, Louzy download speeds at times slower than my DIAL-UP, They always blame something else, for the first month I hardly had a service at all, No recompense what ever, indian helplines are a disgrace, Expensive,long winded,Do not know what they are talking about, and downright rude at times. There is no one to complain too as they send you to india, so whats the point.. If you track where they are coming from it is coming from TISCALI in London.
      They say they are not, try it, then call them a liar.. I am changing next month, I cannot have made a bad decision as it could not get any worse, Once the honeymoon is over, you have had it..
      My ADVICE don`t touch TISCALI<TOUCAN<or PIPEXWOLF dressed as> SHEEP..
      BE WARNED..

    20. Robert Dennis says:

      Yes! Yes! Yes!

      Yes to anything negative said about Toucan. Who on earth can consider that their way of treating customers, i.e blatant disregard of consumer rights and breach of policy specifications, can in any way be considered a good way to go about keeping customers.

      Be careful of speed checks offered by different companies. Would you believe it but my first one showed my 2meg connection to be operating at dial-up speed but after that my speeds miraculously increased every time I went onto one of these sites. Only to then slow down (my subjective impression of watching what appeared to be 56k, roughly, download speeds,) if pages I would be trying to watch were even loading at all.

      Be warned again about there useless way of dealing with customer complaints. I was supposed to have downloaded 4.72gb in a week when I was unable to even load a single page.

      Do not go with Toucan.

      If you are with them and are having troubles, do not think it is a problem at your end. I would guess it rarely is. Report them to Trading Standards via their website and also don’t forget WatchDog on BBC 1. Both very useful.

      Beware and bye, bye,


    21. Roy Webb says:

      toucan is the biggest pile of rubbish ever, with slow connection speeds and extreme capping. id recomend to anyone without a brain or a computer

    22. Jacqui Bruce says:

      Never ever would I recommend Toucan to anyone! If you want slow speeds, even if you are paying for 2mb, rude and unhelpful customer services then switch to Toucan, if not don’t touch them with a barge pole. All they cause is misery and frustration and you don’t get what your paying for. AVOID at all costs, worst ever (0NON) internet provider

    23. Emma Crawford says:

      Toucan is the worst provider of broadband I have ever come across. I signed up with Toucan in Nov 05, then moved in March 06′ whilst moving my modem broke, it took them 3 months to supply me with a new one, and that was after numerous phone calls (sometimes 45 mins on the phone). Due to the problems that I encountered I could not wait to leave and duly give my notice to end the contract. I then received 2 letters one from Toucan stating that I know must pay £46.97 early cancellation fee, and one from a debt collection company stating that they wanted £78.57. So I called Toucan – this time a customer service rep said that when I moved I effectively stated my contract again and I would have been told, I explained that I hadn’t asked to speak to a manger – none available (Surprise Surprise). I have now spoken to 3 different people at Toucan and having trouble leaving the company, but I refuse to pay a cancellation fee as it wasn’t explained to me at any point & my notes prove this. This company has with any doubt the worst customer services ever.

    24. Paul Eastwood says:

      Have only been with Toucan for about 1 month and have been having terrible download speeds. Having read the reviews am in for a long 11 months till I can switch.

    25. Graham Hayward says:

      Toucan support is terrible. Their support line is a premium rate number and you can be assured it will be a long call because their offshore support staff are useless. They cant solve problems, they wont admit that their line is at fault and they wont escalate calls. I would rate them -100000. Avoid at all costs

    26. Bronwen Hageman says:

      Our Toucan broadband ‘modem’ broke. We requested a new one 3 times but after a month and still no modem and hence no internet service decided to move to Talk Talk. Now – 2 months later – Toucan still have not released our broadband line to talk talk and have said that now we owe them £60 – What an absolute nightmare. Would never deal with them again and NEVER recommend them to anyone.

    27. Michael Mcritchie says:

      Toucan was excellent until June 2006 when all incoming emails went missing. They denied there was anything wrong until I found that all my financial adviser’s emails to his clients on Toucan also went missing. Toucan then admitted they had a server problem. The improvement was short-lived, the tech email service failed to respond, and by September my emails were so unreliable that I opened an account with yahoo! which works fine. I notice a subtle deterioration in service (and staff attitudes) since September when Toucan was taken over by Pi[ex. I’m now looking around for another provider. I download under 2Gb a month, I’m happy with speed of 1.7 or 1.8mb even though I pay for 2mb, and if Toucan wasn’t so unreliable I would happily stay.

    28. Chaz says:


    29. James Greenhalgh says:

      New Note 23

      Toucan are not a true Internet Service Provider (ISP). They are simply reseller of Tiscali’s broadband service. Whats worse, is that they sell the poorer connections at a more expensive price.

      I am counting the days till we can switch away and doing everything possible to get off early without paying a heavy fee. Pings of 60-200 in on-line games on UK servers is frankly appalling. VOIP phone calls are degraded and phones connection is dropped every 5 minutes causing it to reset itself. This does not happen when I use the phone on other networks with the other leading ISP’s. I can only assume that Toucan / Tiscali have blocking in place.

      The toucan technical support team are _useless_. When I rang up to get help with the VOIP phone I was instructed by the foreign tech that “No-one in the room could help me with my problem, not even the team leaders”. I have never been spoken to like this by a call center worker especially when, as an Internet Service Provider, Toucan’s tech team should be able to handle a much wider variety of problems than just getting email configuration correct.

      The worst part of all is that Toucan touts on its front page that it allows ‘Unlimited Downloading’. What they don’t tell you is that they have an acceptable usage policy that kicks in during peak hours. Users that peak the cap get their connections forcibly slowed down and route priority is given to those who haven’t broken the cap.

      Toucan has just been bought by Pipex. I hope that the Hoff can sort out this mess.

    30. Terry Hamlyn says:

      Been with Toucan for 10 months now, Its got to the stage were I’m counting the days to switch over, I should never have left my old ISP, I was paying 8 quid a month more with them but the service was worth it.

    31. Richard Roggan says:

      I have been with Toucan for almost three months two of which were a nightmare of intermittent connections culminating in weeks of no connection and eventually a down grade from 2 meg to 512 KBS. Customer services are polite but ineffective, technical services are polite and also ineffective. Sales and accounts are on the ball though they are not in touch with customer services.

      I now have a slow reliable connection (So far) Please do not use Toucan, you will be dissapointed.

    32. Helen Mclaughlan says:

      Stay well away from Toucan, they lie and cheat to get you signed up and when you are stuck in the 12 monthly contract the services is reduced. I virtually have no better than dial up speed but I pay for 2mb. “Unlimited downloads” are not and they will reduce your bandwidth after you hit the 1 gig limit

    33. Peter Stephens says:

      I signed up for a 2mb line but have only had up to a 1mb line sometimes not even as fast as dialup Toucan is a nightmare beware of them they are not providing the service they advertise and will completely ignore any complaints

    34. Razu Ahad says:

      If you have a family your best bet is not to go with toucan. They have a 300 hour limit per month. that is 10 hours per day. For one person that should be enough. For hardcore gamers who play all day…forget it!!

      And for a family where all are sharing a connection, again forget it!!

    35. David Brown says:

      Door staff lie to customers concerning price and minimum contract lenth. Then customer service staff just keep repeating the same thing over and over again and never give a straight answer to a question.

      Would not recommend them to ANYONE.

    36. Amanda Leghorn says:

      Have had toucan for 6 months now. Spent the first 3 months basically off line. Still waiting for tech support to call back, or customer services to reply to me.
      Wouldn’t recomend them to my worst enemy.

    37. Martin says:

      Do not go with this company. Download speeds are extremely poor, as is using a simple website like youtube. Line speed tests show a good result, but you definitely do not get what they say. A 2 minute video on youtube took 10 minutes to download – disgusting performance from Toucan.

    38. keith carrington says:

      Have been with them for a while now and regret every living moment. It takes hours to get on line… Their technical service makes you hang on costing you a fortune… The tech support is foreign and you can’t understand them and to top it all I’ve just found out that their internet service has been down since last Wednesday (27th Feb 2008) and won’t be up and running until at least Friday 7th March. That’s because nobody has the guts at Toucan to tell you the truth. I am seriously thinking of buying up my contract and going to orange or bt.

    39. michael from blyth says:

      I’ve been with toucan for 8 months and now I’m losing bandwidth daily; I was getting connected at 3.7 to 4Mb with actual speeds of around 2.5Mb to 3Mb and download speeds of 250 kbps to 400kbps. Now I’m still connecting with same speed but getting actual speeds of around 1.5Mb and download speeds of 125kbps to 170 kbps; I’ve been told that this is because my line is only a up to 2Mb line so these speeds are ok. I was to this by Mark from toucans second line, it must be magic as I’ve been getting speed more like 3Mb for 8 months. I have proof of this; I keep records and have sent copies to toucan who don’t reply. I’ve phoned the tech dept and had there scripted convo and have audio of MARK stating I only have a 2Mb line (LIAR). I’ve already received my money back for the calls to tech dept in India and intend to take toucan to the small claims court. I’ve sent this information to the company directors on cd and I’m waiting for replies which I don’t expect to get (sent by recorded post tho). I can’t believe I’ve been lied to and I have the proof hehe. I will be taking toucan to the small claims court and WILL NOT be settling out of court; even if I lose I don’t care.

    40. Cockneyrebel says:

      I have had Toucan for over two years and have lost the service on two occasions. I have had had no other problems apart from being unable to cancel my main e mail address due to horendous amount of spam mail. we created a new one each to use. would recommend

    41. ian says:

      KEEP AWAY.
      These people are driving a normally very patient man crazy. You never get anywhere near the 8meg you pay for, if you phone tech support your just wasting your time as you get sent around in circles until you give up or get fed up paying for the no solutions service. Then you may phone customer service (if you want someone to really annoy you ) they won’t listen and keep repeating that you should phone tech support even when you tell them repeatedly you have loads of times and that is why you are now phoning them. They wont let me out of the contract even though they are not providing me with the service i pay for. My contract is finished in November and i have been contacting toucan to solve the problem since the start of my connection. Also if you upgrade to Vista you may find you need a new router. Toucan will waste 2 of your phone calls and two hours of your time (at tech support rate) before they say look mate Vista does not run with your speedtouch 330, go and buy a new router). Which i would have done if they had addmitted this earlier, but i spent my money phoning them.
      Thanks a lot.

    42. john morton says:

      Appallling non-service. See attached email I will be sending. (the one star I’ve rated them is undeserved but it’s the only way to post.)

      cc surfsupport@toucan.com

      Dear Sir or Madam

      Toucan has been my ISP for some years and, until recently, I thought your customer service was good: whenever I had a problem, the operators did their best to sort out and, ultimately, resolve any problems I had, even if sometimes these took some time to be remedied,

      However, over the last five days I have been appalled, astonished and disgusted by the abysmal service you have provided, which has been massively compounded by various of your operators lying to me.

      A brief history:

      My Windows (XP operating system) computer needs to go back to Germany to be repaired. I could live with this were it not for the fact that I need to complete my on-line tax return by 31 January, a task which will incur a fine of £100 if it is not completed on time. A friend lent me his Windows (Vista operating system) laptop computer on which he hoped I would be able to do my tax return.

      Sunday, 25 January: I spent much time on trying to connect the laptop to the internet via Toucan; I was on the phone to your so-called helpline so often I forget how many times I tried contacting you.

      I do know that on Sunday, one of the many Toucan operators I spoke to advised me there was an incompatibility issue with the Toucan modem and Windows Vista (a point made by several of your operators) and that the solution to the problem would be to purchase a router: I did this at the cost of £39.13 from PC World.

      The router installation disc asked me to select one of four types of internet connection, none of which I recognised so I was forced to ring your helpline again. The operator I spoke to confidently assured me he would talk me through the installation; needless to say, he failed but told me my ADSL filter was faulty and that I should purchase a new one. By this time it was about 4:30 pm; shops shut on a Sunday at 5:00 pm, so my partner and I hurried off in the car to PC World to get a new ADSL filter before the shop shut. We managed this, at the cost of £7.81, only for me to discover that, after more calls to your helpline, your operators could not get me connected to the internet.

      Monday, 26 January: in the morning, after several phone calls, your operator’s tests on my line and the news that my ‘status had been elevated’, I was told, some time between 11 and 12 am, that there was a problem on the BT line but that an engineer from Toucan would call me back within 24 hours; lie number one. The next day, some 11/2 hours after the 24 hours had expired I had to ring back Toucan to ask what had happened to the engineer’s phone call ‘within 24 hours’. I was told an engineer would call back within three or four hours, which would have been between 5 and 6pm; lie number two. After the time slot had passed, I rang yet again to find out what had happened. My tone was undeniably angry, though I was at pains to remind the operator that that my rage was not directed at him personally but at corporate Toucan. I was told that a call back to me had been made at 3:15 pm but that I had been on the phone at the time; has your engineer never heard of answerphones? Does not common courtesy and intelligence suggest that the engineer should have left a message saying he had rung but that I was engaged and that I should ring him back when I was free? The operator also promised that he would try to get an engineer to ring back that evening before 8 pm and that the operator would definitely ring back that evening to see if the engineer had rung; I waited from approximately 5 pm till 8 pm; lie number three – neither rang back.

      Wednesday, January 28; I rang yet again; this time, lie number four, I was told an engineer would ring back between 11 am and 1 pm. I rang yet again at about 1.20 pm to ask as to why nobody had rung back as promised. I was told an engineer would definitely ring back today between 5 pm and 8:30 pm, ‘guarantee call back’ (your operator’s words). Well, I’m writing this at 8:20 and, so far, have had nobody call me back. I’m exhausted now (not entirely due to Toucan but you shoulder the majority of the blame) and I’m going downstairs for dinner. I’ve been at this phone since before 5 pm; is lie number five just around the corner? Wait and see for tomorrow’s exciting episode.

      Thursday, January 29; it’s 6 am and, yes, you’ve guessed it – lie number five was on schedule last night; no call back, no connection to the internet.

      I rang this morning and asked what had happened. Surprise, surprise, up came lie number six, just like that! Your operator told me an engineer tried to ring me yesterday at 6.30 pm on 0208xxxxxxx; that is simply untrue because I sat by my phone from before 5.00 pm until about 8:20 pm. Dialling 1471 on my handset confirms that the last incoming phone call was at 14:44, from a hospital. I was also told the engineer rang the mobile number I gave him; I cannot confirm or deny that because the mobile was in my partner’s possession (it’s hers) and it was switched off. You will not be surprised when I say that I do not believe the engineer rang the mobile number.

      I have been given yet another time slot during which an engineer will call me back: 11.10 – 12.10 am. You will not be surprised when I say that I do not believe this will happen.

      I am sick and tired of phoning Indian operators (on phone lines that are often of poor quality) whose accents are sometimes difficult to understand, and who seem incapable of resolving the problem but who seem perfectly capable of lying to me. I am sick and tired of having to repeat my personal details and the nature of my problem.

      I have probably rung Toucan helpline about 20 times since Sunday; if we assume an average of 10 minutes per call (including waiting time with your dreadful and irritating ‘hold’ music), that equates to an astonishing total of 200 minutes, or 3 hours and 20 minutes. I dread to think what this has done to my phone bill. On top of this time on the phone, I have had to sit by my phone and computer waiting for engineers to call back within the time slots I’d been given; if you add up the time slots I’ve itemised above, you’ll find they total 91/2 hours, to which should be added nearly 2 hours ‘extra’ time I waited in case the engineer was late, giving a total of 111/2 hours waiting time.

      Because of all this, I asked the operator to transfer me to a customer services operator based in the UK and on a UK landline; he agreed to do this but, lie number seven, actually transferred me to woman with a virtually impenetrable accent on an extremely bad line. I understood so little of what she said, but I think she told me she was based in the Phillipines. In desperation I scoured Toucan web sites for a number that might get me to a UK phone operator. Unfortunately, all I got was a Tiscali number (apparently a sister company under the same umbrella; for some strange reason he would not divulge the name of the umbrella company). I explained the problem as briefly as possible and he agreed to give me a UK-based Tiscali help number (0871 222 3311) I could ring; lie number eight – an Indian operator answered me when I rang.

      I don’t know how many more phone calls I will need to make, how many more lies I will be told or how many more hours I will sit waiting for an engineer to call back. What I want is for someone to urgently ring me back on the above number and let me know what is happening and when I will be reconnected. Needless to say, there is no point giving you my email address because I cannot connect to Toucan.

      Ps Might I suggest Toucan’t would be a more appropriate name for your company?

    43. brenda morgan says:

      I was with them and was unable to receive a signal and they are still trying to charge me for a service I was not receiving. Avoid at all costs…

    44. RS says:

      I signed up with Toucan in 2005 when their helpcentre was in Ireland. The only problem I had was back in 2007 when broadband didn’t work for about a week and they compensated me with 3 monthe free broadband. Since then they were taken over by Pipex. I’m happy with them and when I wanted a router they provided it free with a new cheaper package.

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